Happy Birthday

It was my partner's birthday not so long ago. A milestone birthday, the big five-o. A special birthday indeed, it's not every day one turns half a century old.

I wanted to get him something really special for this birthday. He's not fussed, he's happy with the socks and jocks year in, year out. The only trouble was, I had no idea what to get the man who is happy with socks and jocks. He doesn't wear jewelery, still hasn't read the last book I gave him 7 years ago. He tells me he has all the tools he needs and doesn't need anything special. Except maybe some socks and jocks.

So what does one get the man who has everything for his 50th birthday? Then I found it - the perfect gift. He used to have one of these until he fell on it and broke it. I caught him eyeing one off at a garage sale the other week. It has a thousand and one uses and multiple attachments for all those tight corners.  The one I got him was easy plug and play, with a 12 month warranty and in his favorite color. And just what is this perfect gift I hear you ask?

Yep, you guessed it. - a steam mop.

New Decorations

After my dismal effort with Christmas decorations this year, I decided to prepare for next year. Out went the old coaster and the green twine. In its place is an "I Love Christmas" expresso cup and shiny, new red twine.

Quite an upgrade from this year. I'll wrap this up and put it somewhere safe until next Christmas.

Hope I can find it again....

The Fishing Files

After sleeping through the last 5 years of New Year's Eve parties, this year we decided to do something a little different. Friends had the use of a houseboat and we decided to join them for an evening of fun, frivolity and fishing. As you can see, I was beside myself with excitement.

My fishing record is not remarkable. In 30 years I have caught 2 puffer fish, one when I was 17 and the other 2 years ago when I trapped it in shallow water and ran it down. If I make it three in a row after this trip I think I'll see about taking fugu lessons. After all, how hard can cooking a puffer fish be?

After a quick course on "how to bait a hook without the prawn flying off ", my line was in the water. And lo behold - a fish jumped onto my hook. My first real fish in 30 years - a mid sized trumpeter which they all said was no good for eating but was an excellent bait fish. That's when I realized I had another problem to deal with.

Getting it off the hook.

I would never make a serial killer. Not if you had to stab someone. Or remove a hook from their mouth.

I think my new career as a fisherman is officially over.

The Grinch

I have been unfairly accused of having no Christmas spirit. I find this hard to understand, after all, I went whole hog with the Chrissy decorations this year.

And here they are. A Christmas coaster that's been out since last Christmas and a sparkly bit of green twine.

Ho Ho Ho....

Farewell, Old Friend

My little old dog was going on 17 and doing really well for her age. Although we had a few dementia and incontinence problems, diminishing eyesight and hearing not as sharp as it used to be she still had a terrific appetite and attitude to match. I envisaged she would make it well into the new year and would peacefully go in her sleep sometime in the future.

But it was not to be. Poor Katie suffered a prolapse. She was still her cheerful little self but there wasn't much the vet could do. At her age she wouldn't have tolerated the anesthetic so it was with a heavy heart we made the decision to put her down.

I've had her since she was 6 weeks old and she's been my constant companion during good times and bad. Loving, loyal and affectionate, she was the dog that comes along once in a lifetime. Irreplaceable.

Goodbye my little friend. I hope they have Schmackos in doggy heaven.

The Shuttle Bus

Today I went to a specialist follow up visit at the local hospital and decided to catch their convenient shuttle bus service from the nearby stadium. This free service saves on a $10 parking fee, $50 in wasted fuel while you search for a non existent park and takes the stress out of the endless car queues and traffic snarls.

Although the service is useful it does have its drawbacks.

You don't get to choose who gets on the bus.

There was only a couple of other people waiting to board when I arrived - nice, normal looking people. I managed to get the seat behind the driver which is close to the door for a quick getaway at the other end. It looked like today was going to be a pleasant little trip.

Then the circus folk started to roll up.

The first one up the steps was an ancient man with wild, white hair, a beard and black leather gloves. He plonked himself down in the seat behind me while his wife slid into the seat on the other side of the aisle and shut her eyes. A rather big lady asked if the seat next to me was free and I reluctantly nodded - there goes the quick exit. As she parked herself in next to me I saw the little black gloved hands of the old man in the seat behind. He was holding on to the back of the seats and had jammed his face in between the gap. He was staring at me. I figured it was because I was turning blue - the lady in the seat next to me had squashed me up against the window and I was finding it hard to breathe.

The next ones on were by far the largest couple on the planet. The axles groaned and we listed to one side like the Titanic taking its last breath. I think as a safety measure the driver should have put them over the back axle to spread the load. Then I heard a strange noise and it takes me a moment to realize the old lady in the seat across the aisle is snoring. I thank a higher power that it's only a ten minute trip.

The driver is a no nonsense, 'I'll make my timetable no matter what' kind of guy. As soon as the clock ticks over to departure time, he folds his paper, slams his window shut and pulls the lever to close the door. Ready or not we're on our way. As he swung out onto the road the extra weight in the back had the front end of the bus rearing up like some demented pony performing an intricate dressage move. I'm lucky I'm sandwiched in, otherwise I'd be splayed on the snoring lady's lap.

 The bus driver seemed oblivious to our lopsided load and hurled down the main street and flew around the corner. The woman next to me leaned into every twist and turn as if she was riding a roller coaster.  She's bug wide-eyed, her hand is shaking and I swear she is passing wind in fright.The only one not bothered by the driving is the bus driver. Or the old man. He's still staring at me.

We finally arrive at the hospital and the woman next to me is too slow getting out of the seat and the circus parade beats her to the door. That is, all except the old man and his wife. She would have waited for them too, but it was the words of the wife that made me urge the woman to get moving before we got caught in the vortex.

"Oh my goodness .......you've wet yourself again."

And I have to catch the bus back......

The Bucket List Take 2 - Sam Neill

Okay. After much thought, I have revised my albeit non existent bucket list. To start with, here is number one:

1.  Arrange a sitting and paint a portrait of New Zealand actor Sam Neill.

I was recently asked if there is anyone I would really like to paint and Sam is the man. You will remember him from films like Jurassic Park, Dead Calm, The Horse Whisperer, The Piano and more recently, as the face behind the 'eat more red meat' advertisements gracing our television sets here in Oz. You can't miss these memorable ads- Sam is the tall one, not the orangutan. You can check his and the orangutan's dancing skills here http://youtu.be/gOeApUseYnE

He has a face full of character and a subtle wit. Now soaking up the vines at his Two Paddocks winery in New Zealand, he recently, in conjunction with a few friends, opened a wine bar in the heart of Sydney. Probably an unobtainable No 1 on my bucket list, but I'll never know if I don't ask. I have sent out the appropriate pinot soaked request messages and now all I have to do is wait.

And wait...